day 2

Day 2 was costed me a lot more energy than day one. I started of with a great breakfast which made me happy. We are here on a low-gluten & sugarfree diet. So with a cracker with cheese and an egg and a granola with fresh fruit I was able to start the day pretty well.

Actually, I started the day a bit earlier, by meditating for 45 minutes and aking a short 15 minute walk before breakfast. I knew I was gonna miss my Yogaclass cause my first neurofeedback session was directly after breakfast.

Where my first session, on day one, was a session where I was just happy to get into the groove, this session was more than that. For some strange reason I was happy cause I felt a little headache afterwards. I made me think of Hurt (NIN, Johnny Cash), I hurt myself today, to feel if I still feel. A great song but it doesn’t represent my feeling.

Afterwards I had a nice workout outside in the sun. Focussing a lot on the stability of my abdomen (belly). It felt good.

I was told, for journalling, to also express more emotions, but I think I’m either past that stage, or I’ve had more time than the others, to hide the emotions far away. So up till this point, I’m touched by other peoples stories, they are all more recent stories than mine, but I feel that I dealt with it before. I’ve shared a lot of my emotions and stories with you over the past 14 years. So when there are no strong emotions, I’m not making them up.

But hey, okay, lunchtime, a lovely tunasalad this time, they treat us well here. But I shouldn’t eat to much cause next on the program was a nice massage. Not much to say about the massage, a good massage is always nice. The lady told me though that she could feel, I don’t drink enough, so I really need to pay more attention to my waterbottle.

Up to my second session with Jon, my neurofeedbacktrainer (I bet that doesn’t fit on his bussinesscard). Again a new film from the series of Nature with David Attenborough. My headache from this morning was gone, so a fresh new start. Since they pick programs from netflix and put a neurofilter over it, I asked him to turn of the subtitles. In my opinion that was more quit in my head. But the neurofilter did keep putting shades over the film and small clicks in the sound. Jon told me that it’s about finding the right balance, between not trying hard enough, and trying to hard. I was exhausted after this session. He told me I really made progress, I told him, it was hard for me to say, since there was no recognizable reward. It always starts subconscious and later on you will figure it out. And besides that, if things go well, we’ll make it harder for you. So I guess I’ll have to wait for my reward a little while.

I just had to get away for a second and directly started the same walk I made yesterday twice. I thought I had an hour for 4km so no problem. But I didn’t check the clock good enough, I only had 45 minutes, so I had to to hurry back for my personal coach.

Just in time, I thought, but she kept me waiting for another 10 minutes, which was okay, I had nothing else to do but eat my lovely afternoonsnack, cracker with salmon. We talked about my life and the people around me. She thinks we have to talk about boundaries. After quite a busy day, this irritated me a little bit. I’ve been working on my boundaries for several years now, and I am close to the solution. The problem & solution now mainly lie in my brains, I hope. I don’t know what this is gonna bring me, but I hope it all fits within this program that will hopefully bring me a lot. It’s about opening up, also in my workbook, that I fill in during the day. About setting goals on every level.

As I walk back to the lobby, I pass the room where they are having a journaling meeting. Explaning about writing down things, getting things out of your system and onto paper. I joined them, and it was pretty emotional. Rianne and Jon, from the Move the Brain team, have co-developed this program after doing soemthing similar in the states, so talking from experience.

Diner was good again, it was a fish day……

After watching some tv Lights went out pretty early…